this is why i live here
it's why i breathe the stale air
and why i make myself move
so that when the day is over
i can melt into oblivion
and slide between the cracks
to total disapearence
despite the emptiness that crowds me
and the lack of my addictions
i am stronger with the reminder
of how it feels to feel
today, however, was different
i almost almost caved
i felt the screaming impulse
and moved my aching words
all the way from the pit of my stomach
crawling up my throut
and off of my tongue, in tears
i was honest
so this is why i live here
to wake up, work, and die
the uselessness of every day
is numbing me to sleep
walking when i should be sprinting
crawling where i once stood
and, worst of all, staring back
to the nothingness i now own
i want, forever, to be mingled like this with you
your clothes all over the floor, mine in the bed
our lifestyles all around
holding here and touching you
keeping forever hidden
whatever is to come and all the things that past
stand still
bowing down to the magesty of; what we call it
i cannot be alone with myself and be sober. i can't believe this is me. and though it doesn't always feel out of control, the fact is it has control. i am not in control. not in control of myself.
and seriously, a, i don't know what to say. other than
Y O U A R E S O S E L F I S H ! ! !
how dare you point that finger at me when you have 3 POINTING BACK AT YOU
****
and yet, who's the fool when i have felt this way so many times. i refused sex. i stopped it and took back the control of what i need in my heart. so why can't i just interact with you in a shallow way and not let myself get so angry. i can't believe you would say those things to me, first of all, but mostly that i took them so seriously. im done. im done im done im done. you self absorbed bitch. GET OVER IT AND GROW THE FUCK UP! JESUS, GET WITH THE PICTURE!
i am an addict. i am addicted to self destruction.
i wish i could cut the parts of you out of me
and put them aside for later
when you're trying to live and learn
and all you can do is sit and watch
time and space and everything go by
o to love and not be so lost
i wish my love had not been lost
heaven in her arms, converge
Forgive me for the sadness
And the bringing of you down
I just needed a lover and I needed a friend
And there you were
Running from forever like all the rest
Three simple words bled me dry
Three simple word bled us dry, bled us dry
I love you
independent women?
MY ASS!
you haven't been independent for one FUCKING second that you've been in that apartment.
FUCK THAT!
first lets count the 6 boys you hooked up with, then the alcohol, then a few more boys, and now weed?
you're full of it. i have morE independence in my pinky and always have and always will.
FUCK YOU
don't say "fuck everything" to my boyfriend. what are you trying to do, manipulate him too? well sorry sweetheart but he DOESNT EVEN LIKE YOU! HE ONLY PUTS UP WITH YOU FOR MY SAKE!
fuck you and fucking manipulations. (i've been your pawn for so long)
thats not FRIENDSHIP
thats not LOVE
THAT IS FEAR!
addict is right. you're fucking addicted to yourself.
